Hellooo love and welcome, It’s a beautiful Thursday morning, 4/5 days through the week and my spirit is still hovering somewhere up above on the “getting through it all, staying positive, staying cool” bar. I suppose this is a good way for you or anyone to get to know me, that is if this gets read by anyone. I think I ought to be spilling out all my thoughts and emotions but that seems a bit… weird to me. Just publicizing everything that goes on in my head seems odd. Maybe it’ll just take some getting used to…? Maybe it will benefit us both, you can get something out of it, and I can feel that sense of satisfaction of making my thoughts real simply by writing them out, instead of letting them float around in my head. Maybe I should get to the part where I’m actually talking about myself, seeing as this is a “get to know me” post, but writing all about me in a “at least 200 word page” seems impossible. So I’ll try my best not to get too specific.
Well, on the outside I’m just Judit Ramos, another body walking around earth bleeding out the seconds of life. On the outside everything is so plain, so simple. Another teen, another daughter, another cousin, another sister, another stranger. When I imagine how I look on the outside, I see a movie playing at fast speed, like a blur. But in my view, I see a movie playing in slow motion. I don’t mean to say life is a drag and every day is slow and painful because that is definitely not true, I just mean to say I notice a lot, all the background things. Am I making any sense or do I sound like I’m on drugs? Let me stop and explain a bit, when I say ‘outside’ I mean everyone else’s view, the ‘inside’ is my view. Where am i going with this? Well I’m just trying to make a connection, see every “first” shouldn’t automatically jump into deep details. You’re not gonna get the ‘inside’ view just yet (I’m such a tease) instead I want to give you a view from the outside, just for now.
Currently I’m in my freshman year of high school, and so far things are going well, yeah there’s annoying students and teachers, many things aren’t going my way, and there’s everyday drags. But the way I’ve been reacting to it all, or responding to it all, has been very much so on the ‘sane’ side of things so I’m quite proud of myself. I’ve got my mom and dad with me and I’m blessed/privileged/fortunate to get to see them every single day, despite all the problems that have aroused between us, I can confidently say I love them. Maybe I should let them know. I’ve got an older sister named Daniela who comes to school with me here at heights, and me and her have a weird relationship. Just weird. I’ve also got a baby brother (not even a baby anymore, but my baby) who’s 4 years old, named David whom I absolutely adore and hope everyday he grows up to be a kid with an open mind. Not necessarily a good kid, I don’t care if he gets good grades or not I just want him to be happy, the real kind of happiness. As his older sister I do feel a sense of responsibility to be there for him, and I’ve promised myself I’d always put him first, and I think I can accomplish that. I love my family, we are so far from perfect and I swear I get so many waves of pure anger towards them and so many times where I’ve been that person I swore I wouldn’t be, but I’m trying to be in control, I’m really trying.
What about me, what do I enjoy? ? Well, I love so many things. I love the smell of autumn; crunchy leaves, warm sweaters, red noses, & long socks. I love tea, reading, sunsets & sunrises. I love spending time with family, I love riding bikes, sticking my hand out of the window on the highway, & walking on grass barefoot. There’s tons of things to love, you may not always be aware of them but I promise you they are there. I’m just plain old me. Another blogger just trying to live -really live- and hoping to inspire you to do the same.